Send us a Text Message.
It only took me 2 years to fight my self doubt and start this series afresh.
I started this podcast to talk about all things inspiring. People, careers, the world. I wanted to start with the pursuit of happiness and then decided it was so much powerful when it came from different people sharing their stories. After all, no one person can understand any emotion completely. So this series is about the pursuit of happiness and I have chosen some of my closest friends, people that I am extremely comfortable with and of course the ones that have and continue to inspire me in different ways.
I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
Support the Show.
If you like what you hear, subscribe and follow us on Spotify, iTunes and Amazonmusic. A new episode will come out every 1st and 15th of a month. You can also follow us on Instagram on theinspiredlifepodcast. If you want to mail me to discuss some of the things we are talking here or have a story to share on this podcast, email me at theinspiredlifeindia@gmail.com. This is Deepika and I thank you for listening.
Hello listeners! I am back after almost 2 years. On the 1st of March 2022, I released my first few episodes which are so cringe to hear now. It took me so long to come back, because well I was enveloped in what is every human’s birthright - self doubt. Apart from the fact that it’s really hard to put out what you think and feel out there for everyone to judge and dissect, I have always been a little shy and insecure when it comes to how I sound. I know I don’t have the voice which people usually associate with women or thats’s what I have been told my growing years.
In middle and high school, I had this music teacher who would berate me in front of the whole class and sometimes even the whole school, commenting on my voice. He once said - "tumhari awaaz kitini karkash hai", which means your voice is so hoarse or out of tune. This was just for me talking, I wasn’t even singing! I was later told by my parents that he tried to convince them to send me for music lessons as my younger sister was going to him for the same. They refused because I was more keen on dancing and had been learning classical dance for years. He took this personally and chose to hurt me till I felt pressured to go to his classes and hope to sound better.
But, I was a teenager, in my head I asked him to fuck off and out in the open I stared at him defiantly. And then just a few years later, I had this classmate who used to sit behind me. He would call me at regular intervals, I would turn around ask him what he wanted, he would just smile and I would yell at him. I thought he was just doing that to irritate me, which seemed like the primary goal of every teenage boy - to annoy the girls. Eventually, some of my other male classmates told me that he found my voice really sexy and so would force me to talk to him in whatever way possible.
After that, I would stop saying anything and would just turn around and raise my eyebrows. Despite being told that someone found my voice sexy, the memory of it being criticised was stronger. Is stronger. I won’t even sing happy birthdays! If I ever sing in front of you, that means I am extremely comfortable with you and you are super special to me. Except for the seniors in my Masters who made me sing as a part of ragging and I unleashed my most out of tune voice for them, which worked exactly as I had planned. I was never asked to sing again!
This is me, always coming the round about way to explain something. I am sorry, I love to talk. I started this podcast to talk about all things inspiring. People, careers, the world. I wanted to start with the pursuit of happiness and then decided it was so much powerful when it came from different people sharing their stories. After all, no one person can understand any emotion completely. So this series is about the pursuit of happiness and I have chosen some of my closest friends, people that I am extremely comfortable with and of course the ones that have and continue to inspire me in different ways.
These conversations didn’t always stick to the somewhat planned but fluid script, which turned out beautiful because we got some amazing heartfelt, conversations which brought our vulnerable self out. Some sessions taught me a lot more about my friends that I hadn’t learnt despite spending decades with them, some turned to be therapy sessions for me and I am going to be putting my heart out by sharing that section with you. So, I want you to be kind and listen to this with an open mind. We are regular people who might sometimes say the wrong things or maybe not understand how to articulate all these difficult thoughts and feelings.
Also, when I am excited and animated, you will hear my thick Hindi influenced accent pop out. After all, that is my first language. Laugh along with this almost Chattisgarhi girl.
The best part, is that this helped me with my struggle or perceived struggle with friendships. Just like the voice story, you seem to focus on the negative memories more that remember the positive experiences, which we know is a way for a brain to protect us from future trauma.
I have had a couple of really difficult friendships which have made me question myself, my bonds, my relationships. But recording this series reminded me, showed me how many wonderful friends I have, who in turn showered me with love and confidence by telling me that I made for a wonderful friend and people are lucky to have me in their lives.
Well, we know stories and perceptions are based on personal experiences, and I am sure there are people out there who think I am a shitty friend. I am sorry if I have ever made you feel like that.
Hope you enjoy listening to it, as much I enjoyed the whole process.